It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
