i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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