Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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