Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
She's like a pop up book from hell.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
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Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
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Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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