I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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