Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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