return my video game
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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