home. puking in laundry basket.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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