so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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