how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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