Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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