The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
