the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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