i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
