capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
