He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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