HIV tests are more positive than that guy
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
