Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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