dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
