the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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