Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
