Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
