grandma shit on top of the toilet
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
that's an acceptable place to lick
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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