she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
you are never too drunk for berry picking
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
