Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
50% drunk capacity currently
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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