He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Randomize
