do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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