I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
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I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
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Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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