I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
