Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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