You're so nebulous sometimes
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Randomize
