i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
