I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
