The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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