She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
