I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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