Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
