It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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