I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
The air was thick with penises
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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