i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
