Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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