she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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