i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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