I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
