Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
