im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
