their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
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SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
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When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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