i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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