Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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