Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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