I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
