are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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