i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize