YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm way too hungover for life right now
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
