you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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